Sandy's Cancer Blog

How do you explain?

I"m coming towards the end of my treatments,2 more radiation treatments this week. I'm so sore and raw but chugging through. I just finsihed my last chemo on Friday. today all I feel is weakness,trying to move around and cry alot. I try to explain and no one understands,how can they when I don't even understand? Been doing all they've told dme to do,even the bath soaks which help immensley.My family think that once I'm done with treatment I'm good to go,anywhere,not so.I never know whenI'm going to have to be in the bathroom,don't know how bad it will be. How have you coped with this after treatments with your friends and family?

Annabelle threw a punch at your cancer.
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Hi Sandy, I’m sorry you are in the final phase of’s such a miserable time, but you are SO close to completion! I want you to know life will get better, each month you will see some change for the better. I found that the next two weeks after treatment I hibernated and slept crazy amounts, it was as if my body was just doing everything it could to repair the destruction it just went through. I pushed my friends away during most of the first three months and immediate family only were around me the most...I told everyone I was afraid of getting sick because it was the winter and you can certainly use that as an excuse too. I had to tell my husband he needed to give me grace as I sorted through the aftermath as well. The only people I faked a happy face with was my kids because they didn’t need to see the ugly truth and I wanted to protect them as much as possible (they are young). You may need to be more blunt or honest with your loved ones and share that this treatment albeit short is magnified and so intense, unlike other cancers where the chemo is spread out over many months etc so the recovery is going to be significant as a result and you can’t expect to just be yourself right away. I finished my treatments nearly exactly 2 years ago and life does go on and it can be beautiful again! Hugs to you 🤗
Hi Sandy, wow 2 more treatments and u will be done! Most lay people think undergoing treatment is the toughest but to be honest with you, the aftermath was the toughest for me. I felt like $%÷* for 2 to 3 months after treatment. I was so weak. The good news is it will get better. The radiation continues its assault for up to 6 months so u must treat this period of time as part of the treatment process. The period past 6 months will truly be your recovery phase. Be kind to yourself and it's so ok to let everyone around u know that u are not yet well. I finally returned to work at the 3rd month post treatment. Hang in there!
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I stayed home at least the first six months except for doctor appointments. I was uncomfortable sitting in a car or a hard chair. Having to go to the bathroom at any time terrified me. Eventually with the help of Depends and Immodium I started going out again. Psychologically it made a big difference in my confidence and helped when needed.

It will take a little time but you will find your new normal. I explained all my feelings to my family and they were very understanding.
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I'm doing dependsand immodium now and the immodium justdoesn't help most of time. Was up all night,eveen a sip ofwater drove me to the bathroom. right now just so weak and going to get fluids this afternoon.
Sandy, a couple days in Hospital might be just what your body needs right now instead of getting fluids and back home.
Family might realize more realistically then also.
Sandy, Lomotil, anti-diarrheal is stronger than Imodium. Ask MD for script, should not be a problem.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. My sole support was my husband and BFAC. He understood completely, because he never left my side for long, and knew how I felt. Explain to them like this: If I was a burn victim, who was just released from hospital, would you expect me to be 100%? Of course not. The areas would be tender, susceptible to infection, etc. I had very few accidents, luckily, but always located the restroom wherever I was. I am 5 years out, and life is pretty normal, I eat anything I want. Glad the soaks are helping, that was the very best thing for me as well. Treatment is almost done, I am so proud of you! I was told by a fellow nurse, our treatment is one of the worst. So we deserve every medal we get! Just come on here and vent, we get it!
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I took almost a month before venturing out. Then we took a camping trip that was great until we met up with friends. There were way too many people, too much noise etc. I didn’t realize how much I still needed to be patient, take it slow and be thankful for each new success. We left after a day because I couldn’t handle the stimulation. Just let everyone you know that you nd they need to be patient as you heal. Hugs!
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Hi Sandy, I've been thinking of you, I'll be 2 weeks post treatment in 2 days. And I did not have the second round of chemo. MDs said No, and so did my brain and body.

As far as friends, they know I don't answer phone if not up to it and they are fine with that..

Family...had and have couple issues, but realized, after much thought, that I needed to Set Boundaries. They will need to come around on their own as I don't have the energy to be dealing with anyone else's issues, need all my energy for healing right now. Once I came to that decision, I know I'm doing what my body needs.

Just remember, we are all here for you and We surely understand.
Sandy likes this comment
Hi Sandy. I remember what the last few days of treatment were like for me--pure hell. I know it's tough, but hang in there for those last 2 treatments. As for people thinking that when you're done with treatment, life will just magically return to normal, I think we've all experienced that. People simply don't understand the toll this takes on our bodies and that it takes time to recover. Be honest with them and just let them know you are going to need time, support and love. Be patient with yourself and celebrate each and every improvement in your recovery. I wish you all the very best.
Cheryl likes this comment
The last week of treatment really did me in also! I ended up hospitalized for a week between the fifth and sixth weeks. After I finally completed treatment I had to go on leave of absence from work for six weeks to recover from the painful burns, nerve damage, and fatigue. I hope your family can understand that it will be months before you’re back to normal. Hugs!
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Vital Info


November 28, 2018

Hermitage, Pennsylvania 16148

December 17, 1946

Cancer Info

Anal Cancer

November 5

Stage 3

2.1 - 3.0 cm

Grade 2




takes over your whole being

Life is so short!

I need lots of hugs!

None, just support

bleeding thinking I had a fissure for 2 years,spread to my lymph gland,had a lump,had biopsy confirmed stage 3 anal cancer


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